So, long story short, I will be leaving cold, rainy/snowy PA for sunny central CA on 12/8 to give it a go with my boyfriend. His mom was diagnosed with terminal cancer and given “up to two months” to live. It’ll be almost exactly a month to the day when I leave here to go there. I have no idea what to expect. This is something bigger than me and bigger than I have ever had to deal with. I want to be a rock for him to lean on, and I want US to work. Am I crazy? Maybe. I certainly felt crazy when I put in my two-weeks-notice at work and when I bought a ONE WAY plane ticket. I’ve also had several really not-at-all fun panic attacks. I am scared shitless, but I love him and some small part of me holds out hope that where Pennsylvania has not necessarily let me down, but not presented me a lot of opportunities… that CA will pick up the slack and maybe I will feel happier there. Though, that is VERY hard to imagine without all of my friends that have always been there and supported me. What will I do when I have no one to call if i suddenly just want to go slug down some whiskies with a friend and bitch about my day?
I know that no matter what happens, this will be a learning experience. I just hope that Guytano and I will work out and can continue to learn from each other and support each other for as long as possible. Maybe I’ll be OK after all?