December 2011
I am having a really hard time listening to all of the religious stuff and having pastors and church people constantly around, but mostly, I think i’m uncomfortable because maybe I didn’t realize my boyfriend was as deeply rooted in this as he apparently is. I know it is making him feel better and I am trying to be respectful, but it really makes my skin crawl. I don’t know why....
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collapsing new people
Stay awake all night But never see the stars And sleep all day On a chain link bed of nails
Steer clear of the sun Pancake, sandpaper skin They have no reflections Drink blood but pierce no veins
Exaggerate the scar tissue Wounds that never heal Takes hours of preparations To get that wasted look
hospice nurse says she will probably go within a week or two.
who feels like a selfish monster for his previous post? this guy.
ugh. if i thought things were messy now, i can’t imagine what they’re going to be like when this actually happens.
time to put on my brave face. meanwhile, i should really start using livejournal again. people actually read my posts on there and gave...
[for those just tuning in, i moved across the united states to be with my boyfriend, who is hospicing his mother. i have now been here for going on two weeks.]
today is my 11th day here. things are difficult. this is definitely no picnic and has been taxing as fuck and has really forced me to re-evaluate what kind of person i am.
the jury is still out on that one.
i am being as patient as i...
It is so hard to know that she will die and I will not be able to stop his suffering.
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going to california. BBL.
flight leaves at 8:20am… mailed a bunch of my stuff out, packed all my clothes, put together some playlists on my laptop for the flight. said all the goodbyes i can even fucking stand this week. it’s SO hard. i’m really tired of crying. i am not questioning the choice i made, and i am not questioning my reasoning. this place doesn’t have to always be my home, even though i...
