that catty little faggot attitude is why i hate mainstream gay culture. well, that and their piss-poor taste in music. i'm so happy i'm not one of those people. there's a reason that people don;t like gay people... and it's because we, as a whole, are behaving POORLY and treating each other like shit. kind of silly.
the gentleman i went to visit in California is amazing. i’m heartbroken to have had to come back here, honestly. he was incredibly sweet. we’ve been talking via the internet, off and on, for around 5 years. i lost track of him for a while, bit had written his handle down from one of the sites we talked on, so search for later. randomly on facebook, i found him through a community we were both a part of. it was serendipitous in a way. we started talking again, but he was in a relationship, which was fine. i became “friends” with his [now ex] boyfriend, as well, and all seemed well. they broke up within a few months and i tried my best to be there for BOTH parties, but mostly Guy, as we’d had a bit of history together. we became very close in the following months, and within a year, had a serious interest in each other. one day, i opened a book [a collection of Lovecraft’s stories] and out fell a slip of paper that had his X-Tube handle written on it. it was a VERY strange thing - i felt like it was an important thing to pay attention to. i believe in coincidence, and am generally not one to attribute things to fate, but this felt different.
i took off wednesday 6/1 to fly to L.A. to meet up with him. after years of correspondence, it was fantastic to see him in person. and he made the week i spent in los angeles one of the best weeks of my life. he took me out to dinner, bought me drinks and gifts and introduced me to great people. he took me to fantastic places and showed me all his favourite haunts. he took me to fuckin’ DISNEYLAND, for christ’s sake. no one has ever done anything like that for me. not to belittle any other previous love interests or their efforts, but this was all new to me. chivalry? WOW. he walked on my right side in the streets of L.A., habitually, to keep between me and other people/between me and traffic… i thought that was INCREDIBLY endearing behavior. he held my hand in public and didn’t shy away or seem to give a fuck if anyone was looking. all these little gestures mean a lot to me, and i cannot seem to express to him how thankful i am for everything he did to make my week out there an amazing time. i am ridiculous over this guy. please, let this work. please? i feel like this is what i’ve been waiting for.